Barcelona, January 2010. Me yawning at Gaudi.
The tallest buildings in Klondon are not that tall:
One London Place is 113.4m high and was built in 1992, a great year for hip hop (The Chronic-Dr. Dre !!). The two are no doubt connected.Tall is over. Empire is so tainted now.
It takes time but I’m working on my own record-breaker in Klondon. The location is secret. And it might take a really long time. But it will make Gaudi and One London Place look like the efforts of shoddy dilettantes.
Haunting Beauty Salon window in Scranton, Pa. You know, where The Office takes place.
I got my new walk-in closet finished today.
It isn’t as nice as Ashely Tisdale’s but I am not a socialite. I am an intellectual cosmopolitan with trailertrash roots.So I still feel inferior/superior and think about her closet island with a glass top like Ashley has. I only have 8 drawers and one belt rack! Fuck! Hooray!
The fantastic Shirley and her whole family run the company that did my closet job. Her son did the installation. He was tall and so healthy and kind. Told me she has a $15000 closet and an Amelda-amount of shoes.
I said with my 10.5 size feet I am stymied.
I figured as much but now 5 people have confirmed that Klondon has aliens. I prefer them to racoons.
July 2010: Proof that I know cake. Me at and in the Sacher in Vienna.
Is it a coincidence that I wrote about a terror cell in Klondon TWO DAYS before arrests were made??
No. When it comes to blood and violence, I’m 100% accurately psychic. It’s my horror film history.
This morning a lovely and talented person delivered a vegan chocolate cake directly to my door! AND she was charming and sweet as dessert too!
You can find her on etsy. She makes exotic cookies too.
Klondon really does have it all.
Rexall Pharmacy Post Office:
Post Office Young Woman: Sorry about that. I can’t make old people hurry up. That’s one thing I really can’t do. It’s his big outing for the day.
Me: He belongs here. We all do.
Purveyors of Behives and exotic suds in (k)London: Batty’s Bath!
As a Good Canadian, I have located a terror cell and when they are going to act!
On Friday September 17th 2010 in downtown (k)London between 11 am - 1 pm there will be a takeover. A coup!
Avoid at all costs! Or join! Depending on your inclinations!
It’s me in Budapest last month!
Hungary might have breath-taking monuments to empire, but Klondon has The (k)London Curling Club!
Established in 1848, it is one of the oldest curling clubs in Canada.
Take that Budapest! Take that dull old empire!
They do good, good works, as described in their Mission Statement:
The London Curling Club will strive to be recognized as a leader in encouraging all the attributes of “good curling” among its members, in promoting curling as a sport for members of all ages to enjoy, and in developmig curling in the community as a preferred source of winter exercise and enjoyment.
This mysterious club does not give up its secrets easily! Why is ‘“good curling”’ in quotes? Is proofreading antithetical to curling? And, curling preferred over all winter enjoyment? Hockey? Snow-shoeing? Fine. But hiding indoors in the bubble bath with champagne? They must throw a hell of a party over there.
On September 18 and 19 2010 anyone can visit and learn to prefer curling.
Just try and do that in Hungary.
My most recent gig was reindeer herder in Levi, Finland (aka Lapland).
I miss those goddamned reindeers.
I do however know how to find ghosts. My new home, a 1913 Victorian has loads. The original family were mourning jewellery artists
and so the house is full of pissed off spirits trying to get their body hair back.
I was concerned, but thank goodness ghost hunters are easier to find in Klondon than pecuniary deer! The Paranormal Knights of (k)London are en route and have promised to ferret out these hairmongering poltergeists!
If only they could also replace them with reindeers.
@brian_frank: @twot Where does the ‘K’ come from? (I’m always shopping around for a new name for this city too)
@twot: @brian_frank Well: K is silent but deadly! Saying Canadian London is shameful. Klondon is a short, evil dead 2 form of Canadian London!
I am hankering for a good old dress up party. Here I am (on the left) with Victorians sisters.
There is not much online about the good things in (k)London. There is a lot written, but it is mostly written by MOMMIES. Yawn.
It is my mission to find everything worthwhile, everywhere, even here.
Mike did my renovations at my Klondon house. He did a good job. He is here
His flooring guy, Greg, gave us hand-scraped aged Hickory floors. They are miracles, I float on them.
These are them.
This is my favourite (k)London blog so far. He needs to update more but he is hostile and funny: The London Fog
Me in time square this summer in a burka: